The Royal Bake Off Page 5

  ‘Pepino!’ the Empress exclaimed.

  ‘How lovely of you to call your old aunt! I’m just out waging war in the Underwater Rift of Midatlantis in order to spread peace and freedom.’

  ‘That’s great,’ said Pepino, ‘but you might want to come home pretty quickly. Someone is drilling into the Apple of Liberty.’

  There was an ominous silence on the line.

  ‘Auntie? Still here? It might be nothing, but –’

  ‘RED, BLUE AND WHITE STAR-SPANGLED ALERT LAUNCHED! FIGHT TO THE DEATH, PEPINO! I’LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN!’

  And she hung up.

  ‘What’s a red, blue and white star-spangled alert?’ Pepino asked.

  ‘I don’t know,’ said Holly, ‘but the Princess’s spotted us …’

  Hopping up and down on the boat, the Easter assistants were pointing at the three children. The Princess frowned and talked quickly to the giant metallic worm, hovering above their heads, who dived back into the Apple of Liberty.

  ‘We can’t run away,’ said Holly. ‘We have to attack them.’

  ‘Turtles!’ Anna shouted. ‘To the Princess’s boat!’

  The sea turtles swerved towards the boat.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ the Princess shouted as they drew closer.

  ‘We could ask you the same question!’ Anna retorted. ‘Why’s that worm drilling into the Apple of Liberty? Is it trying to find something?’

  ‘None of your business,’ said the Princess. ‘Don’t get any closer. I wouldn’t like my assistants to harm you.’

  Anna looked at Holly. In the mysterious way that sisters sometimes have of understanding one another without speaking, they agreed to jump on to the Princess’s boat in three (nod), two (nod), one –

  But Pepino jumped first!

  And attacked the Princess’s assistants!

  SPLASH!

  ‘Come on, Pepino!’ Anna shouted.

  PUNCH!

  ‘Well done, Peps!’ Holly yelled. ‘You’re a star!’

  But though he fought valiantly, he was no match for the Easter Princess.

  ‘Got you,’ said the Princess. ‘Pepino darling, I like you very much, but I need to finish what I started.’

  The worm emerged again from the hole.

  ‘Found it?’ the Princess asked.

  The worm nodded its head, opened its mouth …

  And dropped something into the Easter Princess’s hands.

  ‘A gold nugget?’ Holly mused. ‘They dug into the Apple for that?’

  ‘It must be worth more than it seems,’ said Anna. ‘Come on, let’s stop her!’

  They jumped from their turtles to the boat.

  But too late! As if it had exploded from the gold nugget, a giant bubble opened around the Princess and Pepino – and lifted them off the boat into the air!

  ‘Drop that nugget, Princess!’ Anna screamed. ‘Whatever it is, it’s not yours!’

  ‘And it looks dangerous,’ Holly pointed out.

  ‘It’s not the Emperor’s either!’ the Princess laughed. ‘And yes, it is dangerous! That’s precisely why …’

  She stopped talking and looked up at the sky. ‘Uh-oh. Red, blue and white alert launched, apparently!’ she groaned. ‘It’s time to get far away from here!’

  Barely a minute later, everything around them had changed colour!

  The sky was full of WHITE EAGLES.

  The sea was full of BLUE WHALES.

  RED BEAVERS in tight ranks were swimming across the bay from the land.

  And SHINY FIREFLIES fluttered around like stars!

  The eagles swarmed around the Easter Princess, talons out – and the beavers were already building a gigantic dam of wood and earth around the Apple. In the sea, the whales began throwing jets of water at the Princess.

  Anna and Holly jumped on the backs of two eagles. In a few seconds, they were close to the Easter Princess.

  ‘Get out of my way!’ the Princess yelled.

  Pepino punched a fist through the gelatinous surface of the giant bubble and Holly reached out to grab it.

  Suddenly a deafening noise rose from the waves. A red lobster-shaped submarine surfaced, piloted by the Empress of Americanada herself, a fleet of smaller crab vessels alongside.

  ‘FIRE!’ the Empress shouted. And a flurry of puffer fish shot out of the water towards the Apple.

  ‘Hey!’ Anna yelled, as the spiky fishes ricocheted around them.

  ‘SEAWEED RIFLE!’ the Empress ordered, and her army fired swathes of sticky seaweed.

  ‘Auntie!’ Pepino screamed. ‘Stop! You’ll hurt us!’

  But the Empress didn’t seem to care. ‘EAGLES! ATTACK!’

  The eagles dived towards the Easter Princess, launching their talons and beaks at her protective bubble. It slowly began to pull apart …

  ‘Careful!’ Holly yelled. ‘We’re here too!’

  ‘WHALES! ATTACK!’

  The whales doubled their efforts to pummel the bubble with streams of water – until the Princess dropped the nugget. It tumbled towards a rip in the bubble …

  And SPLASH! It fell into the sea.

  PLOF! A beaver dived after it and surfaced again, carrying it between its teeth.

  ‘I’ll have that, thank you very much,’ said the Empress, then looking up at the disintegrating bubble, ‘Quick, catch that Princess!’

  Holly and Anna only just had time to save the falling Princess and the just-as-falling Pepino.

  ‘Very good,’ said the Empress, ‘another victory. I like victories.’

  ‘My, my, my! What’s happening here?’ boomed Charlus’s amplified voice.

  Charlus and Molly’s hovercraft floated up to them. Further away, a boat carrying Emperor Sam and King Steve was approaching the island.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Sam asked, disembarking. ‘We’ve just finished baking. The pies are cooling down. Did you launch an alert?’

  ‘The Easter Princess was trying to steal a gold nugget inside your Apple of Liberty, Uncle!’ Pepino shouted. ‘But we stopped her!’

  Emperor Sam turned very pale.

  ‘What nugget?’ King Steve asked.

  ‘Oh, nothing,’ said Emperor Sam.

  ‘Americanada in danger! Emperor Sam’s secret nugget stolen by enemy Princess!’ Charlus yelled. ‘Show it to the Filmcrews, Your Imperial Highness! What’s it for?’

  ‘Oh, nothing,’ repeated Emperor Sam.

  ‘Nothing,’ the Easter Princess snarled. ‘Apart from all his power!’

  And she shook her head so that her mask fell off …

  Revealing a face that looked rather familiar.

  Chapter Twelve

  ‘Sharon!’

  Emperor Sam and King Steve were dumbfounded.

  ‘Sharon!’ Steve repeated. ‘Sharon, our little sister!’

  ‘BREAKING NOOZE!’ Charlus yelled hysterically. ‘EASTER PRINCESS IS LONG-LOST “LOSER SISTER”!’

  ‘Sharon,’ King Steve sobbed, ‘my darling sister! We thought you’d run away for ever! We thought you might have died!’

  ‘I haven’t,’ said the Easter Princess. ‘I was waiting for the right time for revenge.’

  ‘Revenge!’ Molly exclaimed. ‘We love a good story of revenge. Don’t we, Your Imperial Highness?’

  ‘No, we don’t,’ grumbled Emperor Sam. ‘Well, not this one, at least.’

  ‘Oh, do tell us,’ Anna said. ‘We’d be very interested to hear your story …’

  The Filmcrews, a bit puzzled at first, split into two groups – one fluttering around Emperor Sam, and the other flocking around the returned Princess.

  ‘Steve,’ said the Easter Princess, ‘wouldn’t you agree that Emperor Sam was the worst brother ever?’

  ‘Absolutely,’ said King Steve. ‘He was the most rubbish brother anyone could have nightmared of.’

  ‘Wouldn’t you agree, though, that he was also the cleverest, the most handsome, the most successful and the best liked?’

  ‘He was indeed
!’ the King roared. ‘The pompous brat!’

  ‘Well,’ said the Easter Princess, ‘I know why. I know where his eerie talents come from. I always knew!’

  ‘They didn’t come from anywhere!’ quavered Emperor Sam. ‘I was born with them!’

  ‘Oh, no, he wasn’t,’ the Princess snarled. ‘I read his secret diary, once, when we were children –’

  ‘That’s extremely bad of you!’ Emperor Sam said.

  ‘And I stole a page!’ the Princess boomed. ‘Look into my pocket, please, Pepino.’

  ‘Yes, Auntie Sharon,’ said Pepino, picking up a piece of paper in the Princess’s pocket. Filmcrews gathered hungrily around the torn-out page.

  ‘Oh, boy,’ Charlus whispered. ‘You mean to say that Emperor Sam –’

  ‘Stole his power, yes!’ the Easter Princess snapped. ‘And, later on, he hid it in the Apple of Liberty to prevent anyone else from harnessing it! He knew that I had this piece of paper, so he forced me to leave Britland. But I vowed I’d be back!’

  An ‘Oh!!!’ of shock shook the crowd of Filmcrews.

  ‘Well, Americanada, Emperor Sam is not that amazing after all,’ Charlus said half-heartedly.

  ‘He is still very dishy,’ Molly protested.

  ‘These allegations are false!’ the Emperor protested. ‘Who saved Americanada from alien invasions three hundred and eight times? Who single-handedly built a caramel skyscraper? Who –’

  ‘Thanks to the magic nugget, not to you!’ Anna yelled.

  ‘Does it make a difference?’ Sam roared.

  ‘If it makes no difference,’ Holly remarked, ‘you should share the nugget, so that everyone can have a little bit of the power. If you care about your people, you should give them power too.’

  ‘Oh yes? And how am I supposed to do that?’

  ‘Well,’ said Anna, ‘how about if you scraped that magic nugget on to the pies you’re about to feed the volunteers? That way, each of them will swallow a little bit of it, and the magic will spread to each of their states.’

  ‘Ridiculous,’ the Emperor grunted.

  ‘Not ridiculous at all, Your Imperial Highness,’ Charlus whispered. ‘Do it, and you’ll be remembered as Emperor Sam, the Generous. Don’t do it, and you’ll have a revolution.’

  The Emperor pondered a moment and then managed a sorry smile. ‘Dear Americanadians,’ he said, turning to face the Filmcrews, ‘I am sorry I misled you all. But we have important work to do now – opportunities to seize, problems to solve, security matters to face! And the nugget will help us all!’

  Molly clapped: ‘Our fabulous Emperor will share his power with his people!’

  The thunderous cheer and applause could be heard all the way from the city.

  ‘That’s a bit rich,’ King Steve commented. ‘He’s just been revealed to be a fraud and everyone cheers him!’

  ‘It’s Americanada,’ said Charlus. ‘Everyone gets a second chance!’

  ‘Do I get a second chance too?’ asked the Easter Princess. ‘Can I be free?’

  ‘Of course, dearest sister,’ said King Steve. ‘Come with me to Britland. I’ll make you Queen of the Tragically Unpeopled Island of Wight.’

  ‘Erm,’ said the Princess, ‘no, thank you, brother. I’d rather go back to my sunny island. I’m happy there.’

  She hugged Holly, Anna, Pepino and King Steve, and shook Emperor Sam’s hand. ‘I hope you lose, though,’ she whispered to Sam.

  ‘Let the tasting begin!’ Molly exclaimed. ‘Time to see which brother is the best apple pie baker!’

  Everyone crossed the bay again to go back to the studio, where the judges were waiting, blindfolded, near the two apple pies. The Filmcrews zoomed in on their mouths as chunks of pie were spoon-fed to them.

  ‘They don’t know which one they’re tasting!’ Charlus yelled. ‘Is it Emperor Sam’s doubly delicious pie, or his brother’s basic one? They seem to be enjoying both!’

  Indeed, the volunteers didn’t look unhappy to eat the glistening, sugary, juicy bits of pie, especially as each new spoonful was also sprinkled with magic nugget.

  ‘Each of the judges will now write on paper whether they preferred the first or the second pie!’ Charlus screamed. ‘And we’ll know the results in three minutes! …’

  ‘Two minutes! …’

  ‘One minute! …’

  ‘Well, after the advert break, of course.’

  Chapter Thirteen

  ‘He did it, Mummy!’ Pepino yelled to Queen Sheila on the phone. ‘He won the final!’

  ‘That’s excellent,’ said the Queen, ‘I’ll fire the chef. Steve can just cook for us from now on.’

  Emperor Sam was a shadow of the man he’d once been.

  ‘Congratulations, little brother,’ he whispered to King Steve. ‘Good for you that we picked judges with no taste.’

  ‘What fair play,’ Anna laughed. ‘Can we get our prize now? You said we’d earn money for taking part in the contest.’

  ‘I haven’t got much cash on me,’ said Emperor Sam, ‘but have that small change.’

  And he dumped a huge pile of banknotes on to Pepino’s crown.

  ‘Two hundred million dollars!’ Holly marvelled. ‘How much is that in Britlander pounds?’

  ‘Two thousand,’ said King Steve.

  Pepino’s eyes lit up. ‘Just enough for –’

  ‘The Holy Moly Holiday!’ Anna and Holly shouted. ‘Finally, we’ve got enough money to go on the Holy Moly Holiday!’

  ‘But first,’ said King Steve, ‘we’ve got to get home.’

  ‘Oh, no,’ Anna sighed. ‘By Kryin’Air again?’

  ‘No,’ said the King. ‘Sam mentioned that he was lending us a boat this time. It shouldn’t be as tiring …’

  Have you read Holly, Anna and Pepino’s first two hilarious adventures?

  OUT NOW

  Join Holly, Anna and Pepino on their fourth adventure,

  THE VERY ROYAL HOLIDAY

  Coming May 2016

  Bloomsbury Publishing, London, Oxford, New York, New Delhi and Sydney

  First published in Great Britain in September 2015 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc 50 Bedford Square, London WC1B 3DP

  This electronic edition published in 2015 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc

  www.bloomsbury.com

  Bloomsbury is a registered trademark of Bloomsbury Publishing Plc

  Text copyright © Clémentine Beauvais 2015

  Illustrations copyright © Becka Moor 2015

  The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted

  All rights reserved

  You may not copy, distribute, transmit, reproduce or otherwise make available this publication (or any part of it) in any form, or by any means (including without limitation electronic, digital, optical, mechanical, photocopying, printing, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

  A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library

  ISBN 978 1 4088 6392 3

  ePub ISBN: 978 1 4088 6393 0

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